Daily living

I started a Bible reading plan today. It should be good for me. I am very bad at making goals for myself. More so I dispise it usually. I love to live freely with out restraints so God can lead me, but I am starting to realize that I need to make goals for him to lead me. How awesome is that. He would love me enough to teach me this.

So I started day 1. Genesis 1, Matthew 1, Ezra 1, and Acts 1. Not too bad.

As far as its been going with not being spiteful, God has really been stretching me. It's has been great. Because I have some thing.to focus on, it easy for me to remember in the moment of intense feelings, that I don't want to be spiteful. And I'm this I can tell myself to calm down and realize ultimately my husband is not against me. It's super hard most of the time and I keep fighting back sometimes, but at least the thoughts are there. Soon they will penetrate my heart enough to over ride my triggers. To over ride the fighter in me. To over ride my defence mechanisms.

So that's where I'm at.
Thank you for reading.

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Never Spiteful

Never spiteful, she treats him generously 
   all her life long.


Spite:–noun

1.

a malicious, usually petty, desire to harm, annoy, frustrate,or humiliate another person; bitter ill will; malice.

2.

a particular instance of such an attitude or action; grudge.

3.

Obsolete . something that causes vexation; annoyance.

–verb (used with object)

4.

to treat with spite or malice.

5.

to annoy or thwart, out of spite.

6.

to fill with spite; vex; offend.

It's interesting that the writer first focus' on the woman never being spiteful. This is at the heart of a relationship between a man and a woman. If a woman is spiteful towards her husband then she is not respecting him. If she is not respecting him he does not feel loved. Wow, already I can tell this is going to be a great journey. 

Haha, I didn't realize I would be starting out with the hardest one out of this whole list. 

I mean I don't consciously think to myself that I'm going to be spiteful, but I have moments when I'm not very pleasant and I am spiteful. I do desire harm when i fight with my husband, I do hold a grudge sometimes and I certainly do struggle with bitterness. 

Man, this is some really heavy stuff. Ok I'll contemplate this for now and I will write more later with some verses I can find about how to adjust my attitude. 

Also can you please pray.... I feel things have been weird the last week with my husband and I, I don't know why. Please pray that God would work it out. 

Thank you! 

Goal Setting in place... Ready, set, let go....

So, I've been overwhelming myself. I want so badly to be this woman of Prov. 31 but I have not set out attainable goals for myself. I have just bottled up all the things this woman is. I am a bottle and I have all that this is stored up in my head and in my heart and I feel its just a jumble inside of me and when I shake myself up an explosion of random pieces of what I want to be come out of me.

Haha, does this make sense to anyone?

I just feel so attacked lately. Satan is trying to tear this desire out of me and God is using it to teach me, strengthen me and form me. I'm learning a lot through it, yet I feel I need to be more organized with this goal.

It's already a passion, God knows I desire to have him mold me, yet I know I need to make small steps instead of taking on everything and then just wallowing in the feeling of failure.

So hear it is....

Proverbs 31 (The Message)

Hymn to a Good Wife

 ^10-31 A good woman is hard to find, 
   and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve, 
   and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously 
   all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, 
   and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places 
   and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast 
   for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it, 
   then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, 
   rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work, 
   is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, 
   diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need, 
   reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; 
   their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing, 
   and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected 
   when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them, 
   brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant, 
   and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, 
   and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, 
   and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; 
   her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things, 
   but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. 
   The woman to be admired and praised 
   is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves! 
   Festoon her life with praises!


Ok 12 things are highlighted in these passages (the lime green ones go together). My goal is to focus on one at a time. I will commit to focus on one highlighted section a month. So that means a year from now I will have tried to focus on each section, each quality that I strive to have. How amazing that it is exactly a year. :) I believe God will really use this to teach me. Patience will be one of them. Confidence another. And this will definitely form my heart. It will also allow me to focus on what I am going to write and to keep track of my thoughts and what God is doing in my heart. :) 


Wish me luck.... better yet... Pray for me! :) 


(Just to let you all into my personality, I am not usually a goal setter, but this feels so right.)

How to Submit to your husband

I like the way this woman puts it.... 

1. The first step to submitting to your husband is to first submit to God. If your motivation is to please your husband- what happens if he does not respond as quickly as you would like or the way you would like? This step, total submission to God, will give you the proper motivation- you are doing this to please God not your spouse. James 4:6-7 says, "But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: "God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble." 7Therefore submit to God."
By humbling yourself before God, you surrender (submit) your life to Him.

1

2

God created the hierarchy of the home as follows: Christ, husband, wife, children. When this order is out of whack, chaos follows. The husband must look to Christ for guidance and instruction. (Notice that he also must submit to the will of God- not just the wife.) Ephesians 5:22-24 says, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." The wife must look to the husband with respect. Now this one passage scares most women into thinking that she must do whatever her husband says, even if it goes against every fiber in her being and without question. It also has caused some husbands to be overbearing, demanding, and just plain mean when they read it. But, if you read ahead a bit it says that "husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself."(Ephesians 5:28). Throughout the bible there are references on how a husband should love his wife- not abuse her.

3

Another important step is your attitude. Biblical submission has so much to do with your attitude. For example, let's say my husband has a "wonderful" idea to make money... he's going to quit his job and sell palm trees for a living (I live in East Texas). Option 1: I say to myself , "OK, I will submit like a good wife, but I am going to make sure that he knows how stupid I think he and his idea are". In this option I am not really submitting to my husband, or to God for that matter. If the idea fails I will have an "I told you so" attitude and no one will be happy- not me, not hubby, and not God. Option 2: I say to myself, "OK, Lord, our lives are in your hands. I pray that you help me be supportive, helpful and loving. Give my husband clarity and discernment as he is trying to better our lives" With this option, I realize that God is in control and he will provide for us as he always does. No matter what the outcome, I am blessed, hubby is happy and God is pleased.

4

Now as I said in the beginning, this is not easy. But Christ never said His way was easy- He only said that he would always be with you. Keep working at it- your attitude, your prayers- and you will begin to see a difference in your marriage, your home and your life. One step closer to the Proverbs 31 woman!

Read more: How to Submit to your husband- biblically | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4845188_submit-husband-biblically.html#ixzz15Ib0huHM